Monday, January 28, 2013

Feelings of Mommy Inadequacy

For months I have procrastinated... well, infact, it's been almost a year since we enrolled our daughter in our dental plan so we could take her to see the dentist. I had heard different suggestions: take them soon after they get their first baby teeth. No, you can wait until they're two. Well our dentist won't see kids until they're three. My daughter is 3 months shy of her third birthday and I am weeks away from my due date for baby number two... I figured I need to get this done and over with.

I never expected it to go so terribly.

Ok, so that's probably an exageration. She did pretty well for her age. She let the hygentist brush her teeth with a tooth brush. She didn't let her clean her teeth or anything like that. But she didn't scream or cry or bite or anything horrible. Instead, we just found out that she has two cavities in her two year molars.

I feel like the world's worst mother.

How could this possibly be? How could a child who refuses to drink anything except water and white milk, who is incredibly fantastic at eating vegetables and often only eats vegetables, and who is only fed minimal sweets have two cavaties in teeth she's had for only a year or less? We brush her teeth twice daily. She was nursed for over 20 months. The water we give her is filtered tap water, so she's getting a decent amount of flouride. What did I miss??

I know deep down that this isn't my fault. We were just delt a random case of weak enamel or something like that. I know I am extremely fortunate that this is our biggest health concern. We have been blessed to have such a healthy little girl, who has never had to be on antibiotics in her life and has not had a single ear infection. But my irrational mommy guilt, coupled with 9 month pregnant hormones, is getting the best of my emotions and has caused me to cry hysterically almost constantly since walking out of the dentist's office.

We all have something that causes us to feel inadequate, that maybe we have slacked at our job of mothering our children. We all have a chink in our armor somewhere, a weak spot, where we feel we haven't done the best to be the best mom we can for our children. In fact, we probably all feel that we have more than one weak spot. Most of the time, as in this case, our failings are imagined. Knowing this doesn't make it easier to deal with. I'm doing my best to bring this to the Lord, and to stop with this huge pity party for one. I am trying to remind myself that these are cavaties that we're talking about, not a serious genetic defect or a life threatening disease. And I pray for the mothers who have children with true health issues to deal with.

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